So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
