Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
pray to the hookup gods
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
