this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
