I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
My vagina just recognized that song.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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