hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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