I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
