It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize