fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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