dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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