if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
