Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
