i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize