Buhtt sex?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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