sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize