I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
