im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
