East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
