i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
