I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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