remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Dick very happy bro
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
