dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
