You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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