4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You're so nebulous sometimes
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
