Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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