Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
try to milk me bitch
Randomize