3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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