the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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