I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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