Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
