There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize