At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
