hotel room ftw
even my farts smell like vagina
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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