Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
This house was built for laser tag.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
