What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize