we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
