I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize