You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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