i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
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