I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
