bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
