it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
