Ambien. No doubt about it.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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