I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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