oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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