Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize