why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
