Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
