Tell her she can't have a vagina
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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