alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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