Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
