I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
