I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize