You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
A bitchslap is in order.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
