I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize