So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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