If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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