I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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