you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
