my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
