So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
