On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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