I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
