i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
