He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
