After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
