She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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